||||||||| Catherwood re-enters the Waiting Room and explains "This is the main discussion room which is logged each night." ||||||||| Catherwood announces, "The time is 4:32 AM - I now declare Thursday's chat log for July 24, 2025 officially open!"... and then, he retires back to the vestibule... ||||||||| Catherwood ushers Tweeny into the room, accepts a grimy quarter as a gratuity, mumbles something about 8:00 PM, then departs. ||||||||| New notice: '** WE'RE GLAD YOU MADE IT!! ** The Firesign Chat & Show starts at 7pm Eastern/6pm Central/5pm Mountain/4pm Pacific Tonight: Proctor & Bergman’s POWER plus Part Two of a new Cat Collage "The Howl Of The Peter Wolf Movie" and from DOPE HUMOR OF THE SEVENTIES “Mutt & Smutt” https://firesigntheatre.com/news/2022/1/19/stand-up-records-presents-the-first-new-firesign-theatre-record-in-35-years-dope-humor-of-the-seventies- Listen to the 256k stream at: http://listen.ehhh.us:8000/rfd2 or the 16k stream at: http://listen.ehhh.us:8000/rfd1 This show is archived at www.kurtericson.net/firesign | Cat’s collage archive is at www.kurtericson.net/cat' ||||||||| Tweeny departs at 8:00 PM, singing "Toad away, toad away; toad away, toad away! Where do you go when you're toad away?" ||||||||| Catherwood enters with Deputy Dang close behind, mutters something about disrupting his 8:00 PM tree-stunting plans, and hurries off to the Aviary. ||||||||| Deputy Dang leaves at 8:00 PM, singing "Oh, I'm just a little fishy, floating in the sea, and there ain't no hook that's smart enough to catch the likes of me..." ||||||||| Catherwood strides in with a trumpet, plays a fanfare, and proclaims "Nine PM on Thursday, July 24, 2025 - I now declare alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre's chat officially open!" -- then he looks around at the empty room, looks at his watch, and mumbles "...am I early?" ||||||||| Catherwood leads Deputy Dang in through the front door at 8:00 PM, picks up his cues (only slightly scorched), and heads for the billiard room. ||||||||| Deputy Dang leaves to catch the 8:00 PM train to Hellmouth. ||||||||| Outside, the 8:00 PM uptown bus from Elmertown pulls away, leaving Deputy Dang coughing in a cloud of diesel fumes. ||||||||| At 8:00 PM, Deputy Dang vanishes mysteriously -- just as Nino the Mind Boggler predicted! ||||||||| Gusts of wind blow in from outside and the thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of helicopter blades is heard as Happy Panditt's chopper lands on the lawn and Deputy Dang plummets into the garden at 8:00 PM. ||||||||| Catherwood leads Tweeny in through the front door at 8:00 PM, picks up his cues (only slightly scorched), and heads for the billiard room. Tweeny: Howdy Deputy ||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 11 O'CLOCK", then silently exits. Deputy Dang: Howdy, Tweeny! ||||||||| Catherwood enters with Cease close behind, grumbles something about disrupting his 8:00 PM tree-stunting plans, and runs off to the Aviary. Tweeny: allo Cease Deputy Dang: Howdy, Cease! Cease: Hi all Cease: I remember when this first came on, as a serial on NPR's Heat in 1990 Cease: A great show, by the way Cease: I think this is where Ted Bonnit met Proctor and Bergman, but not sure ||||||||| 8:00 PM: MarkTime jumps out of the hall closet saying "I've been listening to all of you talking about me for the past half hour!" Tweeny: Hello Mark... Cease: HI Mark MarkTime: Hey Tween... Deputy Dang: Howdy, MarkTime! Cease: How was Planet X? Tweeny: P&B's POWER - https://www.firesigntheatrelegacy.com/media/media.php?item=power-ln ||||||||| Catherwood stomps in at 8:00 PM, dragging DJTweeny by one foot and asks "Can anyone vouch for this web surfer?" MarkTime: it's not Planet X anymore...it's Planet XI now.... Cease: Oh, China bought it. DJTweeny: hehe MarkTime: yeah....maybe....it's a big "secret"...eh Tweeny? DJTweeny: Or Musk ;) ||||||||| A time machine materializes at 8:00 PM and Mutt bounds out, carrying a grape from ancient Greece. DJTweeny: Hey Mutt Deputy Dang: Howdy, Mutt! Mutt: Always with the grapes, Catherwood ||||||||| Catherwood rushes over to Mutt and mumbles "Typing my name just to rile me, eh?" Tweeny: P&B's POWER - https://www.firesigntheatrelegacy.com/media/media.php?item=power-ln Mutt: Howdy Deputy, Tween and Cease! Mutt: And Mr. Time Cease: HI Mutt Cease: Imagine if time had a gender MarkTime: hey Mutt Mutt: I signed in a day or so ago to have some fun with C-therwood. He’s most peculiar. ||||||||| Catherwood interjects: "Surrounded by a thin thin thin 16mm shell. And inside, it's delicious!" Mutt: See? DJTweeny: Catherwood, are you a bot? ||||||||| Catherwood steps over to DJTweeny and queries "Did you want something?" Mutt: Catherwood bring me around ||||||||| Catherwood gives Mutt around. Mutt: Now, put me down catherwood ||||||||| Catherwood puts Mutt down. DJTweeny: Catherwood, please give everyone some blue moss. ||||||||| Catherwood gets everyone some blue moss. Cease: mmm Cease: tastes blue MarkTime: has everyone been "Moss'd"....? Mutt: I’m a moss-er from way back Cease: like Kate? MarkTime: give me Liberty or give me Immortality Mutt: Whenever my son and I find ourselves in a strange conversation with others we usually resort to saying, “Is this beating and clubbing a part of the ritual?”, to which one of us replies, “I don’t really remember - they got me knid of early.” Cease: wonderful, Mutt Mutt: We get a laugh, tho’ the looks we get are odd ;) Cease: that would really work only with Firesign fans Mutt: Granted, but they are so few and far between that we figure Pluck the Duck! Cease: i was teaching english at a big school in Tokyo in the early 90s and I mentioned a Firsign line in the teacher's room one day and about half the teachers knew it was a Firesign line Cease: k, that's 40 years ago Tweeny: cool, Cease :) MarkTime: anyone know who "Lord Kitchner" refers to.....I do! Mutt: Cool nonetheless Cease: there's a city in Canada named after him. Mutt: Boer War? MarkTime: close....he was a German nobleman who subscribed to "Ostara" MarkTime: whatever that was Deputy Dang: Is this Melinda P? Tweeny: Herbert Kitchener, 1st Earl Kitchener - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herbert_Kitchener,_1st_Earl_Kitchener Mutt: Ostara is Easter MarkTime: hey you guys can type....or what? Deputy Dang: What? MarkTime: yes Ostara is the Pagan Goddess of the Spring... Mutt: Ystera Tweeny: Lord Kitchener (calypsonian) - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lord_Kitchener_(calypsonian) Cease: Thanks, Tween. Mutt: “Come! Sit on the face of a refined man!” Cease: This bit is in my new collage DJTweeny: kewl Cease: one problem with this is that it's so dated. you have to know something about the flicks of the time MarkTime: humor has helped so many folk....thanks Cease! MarkTime: snyonr know where the bit "toad away" came from? Mutt: Laughter is the bestest medicine Cease: your car will be towed away Mutt: On a silent night Tweeny: for those of you who don't know, the woman in these skits was Phil Proctor's wife Melinda (RIP) Mutt: Or on the first Noel Deputy Dang: Yeah, that's what I asked a minute or so ago. I thought I recognized her voice. Cease: i discovered she wasn't his wife then. Tweeny: Here's the liner notes >> P&B's POWER - https://www.firesigntheatrelegacy.com/media/media.php?item=power-ln Tweeny: 'ditch bitch' lol Mutt: Nick Ishikawa - Private Eye! ||||||||| Outside, the 8:00 PM bus from Hellmouth pulls away, leaving llanwydd coughing in a cloud of diesel fumes. Tweeny: Hey llan Cease: Hi llan llanwydd: sorry IM LATE Tweeny: How are you feeling? Mutt: Hiya Llan! MarkTime: hey Ilan Deputy Dang: Howdy, llanwydd! Tweeny: P&B's POWER - https://www.firesigntheatrelegacy.com/media/media.php?item=power-ln Mutt: How are you doing, man? llanwydd: feeling a lot beteer today, thanks Mutt: Awesome!!! Mutt: Best news of my day. Cease: great to hear DJTweeny: Cool, llan :) llanwydd: I will find out in a week how successful the operation was but at least the catheteriations are no longer sore DJTweeny: good deal llanwydd: could hardly get in my cr sometimes llanwydd: car DJTweeny: ehhh MarkTime: I hope everything goes well Ilan Mutt: I hear you. G-d awful experience llanwydd: a miracld whag an antibiogic and a liggld mofphind cand do llanwydd: wzxwpf doe onwa apwllinf Tweeny: Sure sounds like Ossman here Mutt: Opiods are proof that g-d loves us XD Cease: i hope your return to health will be miraculously quick llanwydd: exept fro ones spelling Mutt: Yer speling is emakulate llanwydd: lol Mutt: To pay my bill! Cease: this is funny stuff throughout ||||||||| Catherwood walks in wearing his pyjamas, yawns, and mumbles "It's midnight here in New York city"...then he falls over and starts snoring loudly.. MarkTime: nice to hang with you good folk....catch up with you later! Mutt: See ya Mark! Cease: that's Lili. Bye Mark llanwydd: bie mark llanwydd: gotta be goin to. just wanted to let you know all is well. good to see you all. see you next week Tweeny: Ah, they have this for sale at Bandcamp! >> https://firesigntheatre.bandcamp.com/album/power ||||||||| llanwydd hurries out the back door as Mayor P'nisnose blasts through the front door holding a shotgun and shouting "Where's llanwydd?! It's 8:00 PM and my ballot boxes haven't been stuffed yet!" ||||||||| New notice: '** WE'RE GLAD YOU MADE IT!! ** The Firesign Chat & Show starts at 7pm Eastern/6pm Central/5pm Mountain/4pm Pacific Tonight: Proctor & Bergman’s POWER https://firesigntheatre.bandcamp.com/album/power plus Part Two of a new Cat Collage "The Howl Of The Peter Wolf Movie" and from DOPE HUMOR OF THE SEVENTIES “Mutt & Smutt” https://firesigntheatre.com/news/2022/1/19/stand-up-records-presents-the-first-new-firesign-theatre-record-in-35-years-dope-humor-of-the-seventies- Listen to the 256k stream at: http://listen.ehhh.us:8000/rfd2 or the 16k stream at: http://listen.ehhh.us:8000/rfd1 This show is archived at www.kurtericson.net/firesign | Cat’s collage archive is at www.kurtericson.net/cat' Cease: hurry up and get better, llan Cease: this is from planet proctor ||||||||| It's 12:15 AM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did: ||||||||| Mutt - dead from the common cold ||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress... Cease: a great story and no one left to hear it.bummer. Tweeny: How are things in Van these days, Cease? Cease: NOt bad, weather wise Tweeny: I read this the other day >> 15-year-old boy stabbed to death near Vancouver law courts, police say - https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/robson-square-stabbing-15-year-old-surrey-boy-victim-1.7590488 Cease: yeah. we get that. Cease: random murders Tweeny: I guess you could say that about any big city Tweeny: We sure get out share in Austin Tweeny: *our share Cease: 2.5 milion in Van. Austin? Cease: I know Houston is your biggest city Tweeny: 961,855 at the 2020 census Tweeny: I think Houston is the 4th largest in the U.S. Cease: NYC, LA, Chicago, yes I think it is. Tweeny: fifth-most populous city in Texas, and second-most populous U.S. state capital (after Phoenix, Arizona), while the Austin metro area with an estimated 2.55 million residents is the 25th-largest metropolitan area in the nation Cease: I was in DC visiting fellow Firesign fans and my freinds from Aus in 2005. they lived in Maryland but Maryland is basically suburban DC. Tweeny: Yeah, I grew up in the D.C. burbs of MD Tweeny: My dad taught at George Washington University Cease: My friends told me greater DC had 5 milllion. I had no idea it was that big ||||||||| It's 12:30 AM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did: ||||||||| Deputy Dang - dead from the yaws ||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress... Cease: by dang Tweeny: Sounds like Miss Piggy Cease: it does Cease: My new collage Rap Around Firesign is 37:42. NOt sure if it's done, but pretty close Tweeny: One of their very best faux commercials Cease: there are so many. their real commercials were hilarious too. maybe we can listen to some of that Jack Poet Loves you next week Tweeny: sure Tweeny: I want to make an archival playlist of all their commercials Cease: good idea : Sorry. Dogs had me out longer than expected, we are all elderly :) Cease: i have to find this book ||||||||| Catherwood enters with Mutt close behind, grumbles something about disrupting his 8:00 PM tree-stunting plans, and dashes off to the anteroom. Cease: true Mutt: That was weird. I posted but had to sign in afterwards Tweeny: glad you're back for the finale :) Mutt: Me too! Cease: they loved doing mutt and smutt Mutt: Thais is ME! Mutt: Subversive! Cease: You're sure you're not YOU? Mutt: I used to be me but I had it surgically removed Cease: that must have been painful Mutt: I wouldn’t remember XD Mutt: Jewel tone hobnail bass! Tweeny: Send in the clones..... Cease: anybody got any lynch? Mutt: 905 Cease: we did indeed, Tween. Mutt: That was great. Thanks Tween and Cat! Cease: Rap Around Firesign next week Tweeny: benn fun, folks :) Tweeny: *been ||||||||| Mutt dashes out the back door as Mayor P'nisnose blasts through the front door holding a shotgun and shouting "Where's Mutt?! It's 8:00 PM and my ballot boxes haven't been stuffed yet!" Cease: next week, all ||||||||| Cease is thrown out the window just as the clock strikes 8:00 PM. Tweeny: Until last time, again... ||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 1 O'CLOCK", then silently exits. ||||||||| Tweeny says "Catherwood, call me a cab." After the obvious joke, Tweeny exits at 8:00 PM. ||||||||| DJTweeny leaves at 8:00 PM, singing "Oh, I'm just a little fishy, floating in the sea, and there ain't no hook that's smart enough to catch the likes of me..." ||||||||| It's 1:15 AM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did: ||||||||| MarkTime - dead from The Plague ||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress... ||||||||| Catherwood enters, and announces to all and sundry "It's 4:31 AM, time to change the log file and clean out unused rooms; please exit the chat room for a minute or two. Thank you for your patience."
