Weekly Firesign Chat Cheese Log

A Firesign Chat
04/17/2014

Archive

||||||||| Catherwood re-enters the Waiting Room and explains "This is the main discussion room which is logged each night."
||||||||| Catherwood announces, "The time is 4:33 AM - I now declare Thursday's chat log for April 17, 2014 officially open!"... and then, he retires back to the vestibule...
||||||||| 166 sneaks in around 12:39 PM, trying to avoid Catherwood because of last year's "unpleasant incident."
||||||||| It's 12:55 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| 166 - dead from intense demonic possession
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| Outside, the 7:09 PM bus from Funfun Town pulls away, leaving DJTween coughing in a cloud of diesel fumes.
||||||||| New notice: '** Sorry Dear Friends, but there will be no US Plus Stimulcast this evening. The dastardly Electrician zapped the power supply in Tweeny’s mixer. Tweeny is awaiting the arrival of a new one, and the show should be live again next week :-) **'
||||||||| At 7:11 PM, DJTween runs out the door saying "Hey, mister ice-cream man, I've got a nickel, wait for meeeee..."
||||||||| Catherwood stomps in at 7:29 PM, dragging Rufus_T_Firetween by one leg and asks "Can anyone vouch for this idiot?"
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 8 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
||||||||| Catherwood trudges in at 8:37 PM, dragging kestrel74 by one foot and asks "Can anyone vouch for this Yahoo ™?"
kestrel74: can I sit here in the waiting room ?
||||||||| Catherwood steals into the room, and pipes up "Announcing 'aztec vacation', also known as 'Nancy' -- the time is 8:44 PM" -- then he slowly retires back into the sitting room...
||||||||| Beet bounds in at 8:50 PM carrying an obsidian door knocker.
Rufus_T_Firetween: Hey folks
Beet: An early good night, then, I guess. See everybody next week. 'Bye.
aztec vacation: howdy - missing the usual top notch tunes
Beet: Hey, Tween, are we still having the chat?
aztec vacation: but i know why (of course)
||||||||| Outside, the 8:53 PM downtown bus from Washington pulls away, leaving EWeston coughing in a cloud of diesel fumes.
EWeston: Hey Tweeny, and all gruntled to be here
aztec vacation: these damned crickets are deafening, though - fumigate this place pronto
Rufus_T_Firetween: The chat is available 24/7
Rufus_T_Firetween: my mixer bought the farm
Rufus_T_Firetween: so no show tonight
||||||||| It's 8:55 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| kestrel74 - dead from the yaws
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
EWeston: Technical difficulties today?
Rufus_T_Firetween: as explained in the header :)
EWeston: Hokay next time down time then
||||||||| 8:55 PM: Dexter Fong jumps out of the hall closet saying "I've been listening to all of you talking about me for the past year and a half!"
Rufus_T_Firetween: Hey Dex
||||||||| At 8:56 PM, EWeston hurries out the door saying "Hey, mister ice-cream man, I've got a nickel, wait for meeeee..."
Dexter Fong: Hi Rufus..so sorry to hear about the "incident" involving the electrician
Rufus_T_Firetween: lost my audio mixer, but another one is on the way
Rufus_T_Firetween: I'll bet that sleezy weasel Rococco was in on it too, Dex
aztec vacation: mixer down w/the plague
Dexter Fong: Guess we'll find out who's a chatter and who isn't =))
||||||||| Cease steals in around 8:58 PM, trying to avoid Catherwood because of last night's "unpleasant incident."
Dexter Fong: Hi Ca
Dexter Fong: t
Cease: Hi De
||||||||| The TV flickers on, and Ralph Spoilsport appears: "How can you drive in two places at once when you don't have a genuine Ralph Spoilsport license plate frame? Get one for your car and one for the plate in your head!"
Cease: x
Dexter Fong: =
Beet: Well, I do have some moving to do so I am just going ahead with that. Hope all is OK with you Tween and we will see everyone next week same Firetime same Firestation. 'Nite.
Cease: watching Jays over Twins.
Dexter Fong: 0
Cease: we're up 5-1
||||||||| Catherwood strides in with a trumpet, plays a fanfare, and proclaims "Nine PM on Thursday, April 17, 2014 - I now declare alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre's chat officially open!"
Cease: can you get new computer tweem
||||||||| Catherwood sneaks into the room, and snorts derisively "Announcing 'shoes for the dead', also known as 'Nancy' -- the time is 9:00 PM" -- then he slowly retires back into the Aviary...
Dexter Fong: Hi shoes
shoes for the dead: howdy
Rufus_T_Firetween: not the computer, cease
||||||||| Catherwood tosses another cheese log on the fire and intones, "If you want to keep the cornstarch off your mukluks this season, buy a hoodie or a sweatshirt at the Firesign corner Cafepress store."
Rufus_T_Firetween: it's the audio mixer that got fried
Cease: hi foot coverings
||||||||| Catherwood leads lily inside, makes a note of the time (9:01 PM), then fades off into the distance going on about the waiting room or the sitting room or something.
lily: Hell o bodies
||||||||| Catherwood stops by and announces "While you bozos sit here in the Waiting Room, why not shop at the Firesale store?"
Rufus_T_Firetween: Hi mz lili
Dexter Fong: Hi Lily
Rufus_T_Firetween: *lily
shoes for the dead: hi Lily
Cease: hi lily
lily: Hi Rudus, Fong, Shoes Cease
Rufus_T_Firetween: How rude ;)
lily: sorry
Dexter Fong: downright rudderless
lily: boatless if you ask me type it girl
shoes for the dead: doc gave me Trazadone for sciatica, doesn't help the pain but i get neat flashws and patterns when i close me eyes
lily: cAN WE ALL GET SOME
aztec vacation: solid
Rufus_T_Firetween: yikes shoes
lily: sorry
Rufus_T_Firetween: We can shout. Don't hear you
Cease: drugs can be your friends. or not
aztec vacation: jimi - 'are you experienced? (not necessarily stoned, but beautiful...)
Dexter Fong: shoes: have had sciatica....very painful...can't sit down, can't lie down...I just stood up, watched tv, and drank quarts of vodka until I passed out
Rufus_T_Firetween: very true, cease
shoes for the dead: really fast and cartoony
||||||||| Catherwood stops by and announces "While you bozos sit here in the Waiting Room, why not shop at the Firesale store?"
shoes for the dead: ya, i can't drink. Dex
lily: me too with back but knees are telling me a storm is brewing
Dexter Fong: hmm, that only leaves strong opiates
||||||||| Elayne sneaks in around 9:06 PM, trying to avoid Catherwood because of last month's "unpleasant incident."
lily: yummy
Rufus_T_Firetween: very strage weather recently, lily
Dexter Fong: Hi E
Cease: waiter at Mix restaurant in Vegas, when I ordered a Gin Tonic, told me Gin was vodka with flavour. I didn;t argue.
Rufus_T_Firetween: Hi Elayne
Elayne: Evenin' all! Here early for a change, mostly to invite Dex to lunch.
Cease: Hey, It's Elayne
||||||||| Catherwood enters and asks "Is there anythynge you want? By that I mean Anythynge You Want To, Shakespeare's Lost paperback Comedie in pre-electronic book form!"
Rufus_T_Firetween: the one time E shows up early and I have equipment problems
Elayne: Dex, my boss goes away next Wednesday for two and a half weeks. Let's pick a date!
Dexter Fong: E: I'll call you monday, ok?
shoes for the dead: they won't give me those no matter how hard i whine
Cease: I'm sure they're not connected, Tween
Elayne: Call me in a week, Dex.
lily: hi elayne
Elayne: Hey Lily!
Dexter Fong: OK Elayne
Elayne: Dex, I really want to give you back those paperbacks. I promise to dust 'em off first. :)
Dexter Fong: E: Shall I bring the following volumes?
||||||||| It's 9:10 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| Beet - dead from the yaws
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
Dexter Fong: Beet! The Repaer!!
Elayne: That's a great idea, Dex. Summer reading!
Cease: dead beets make good borcht
lily: dye your easter eggs for that beety color
||||||||| Catherwood stops by and announces "While you bozos sit here in the Waiting Room, why not shop at the Firesale store?"
shoes for the dead: spoken like a true Ukrainian
Dexter Fong: Catherwood, please stop with the pitching
||||||||| Catherwood walks right past Dexter Fong
lily: yaw
shoes for the dead: but keep your nose up
Dexter Fong: keep your nose up what?
lily: abd clean
Cease: I had a girlfriend in 1970 who made exquisite easter eggs.
shoes for the dead: somewhere it doesn't belong
lily: I must be the idiot
Cease: She, like my grandparents, was Ukranian
Cease: I wonder how much longer there will be an independent Ukraine
shoes for the dead: or half of one it looks like
Cease: You're not an idiot, lily. We would have noticed by now.
lily: thanks lol
shoes for the dead: what part of Ukraine were they from, Cease
Cease: Our old Russian realtor friend Natalia (anyone remember the Van Morrison tune) was over this morning and she looks Exactly like old girlfriend. Clone-like. Very strange
||||||||| Merlyn enters at 9:18 PM as Catherwood takes their hat and goat and scurries off to the Chapeau Manger.
Merlyn: hey
Cease: My cousin visiited our Ukranian relatives recently so I'll ask her. I'm worried.
Cease: Hey Minni boy
shoes for the dead: Hey Merlyn
lily: Hi Merlyn
Dexter Fong: HI merlyn
Cease: any firesign news, merl?
Merlyn: nothing I've heard cat
Elayne: Hi Merlyn!
Cease: rememberr when pa was here a few weeks ago asking if we'd buy firfesign albums online? I wonder what's happening with that
Elayne: Oh, by the way, it's Ken's birthday but I keep forgetting his chat handle. Sometimes I really, really wish everyone would use their real names. :)
||||||||| Catherwood stops by and announces "While you bozos sit here in the Waiting Room, why not shop at the Firesale store?"
Merlyn: there's still talk about it
Merlyn: hey E
Cease: i asked bill if the firesign radio station would be offering new content anytime soon. not a usefull question
Dexter Fong: E: If you mean Kend, he's not been here for a badger's age
Cease: el. why? we love playing with words, as do the firesigns
Elayne: Thanks Cat, I think that's him. You're right, in fact, I haven't seen him in awhile.
Elayne: Cat, I love wordplay too, I just do it using my actual name.
||||||||| "Happy" Harry Cox pops in and say "I was right! Everything I knew WAS wrong! You CAN get "Profiles in Barbecue Sauce", chock full of meaty Firesign scripts!"
shoes for the dead: maybe because you badgered him about his age, Dex
Cease: I'm hoping to be able to afford to buy Profilles this year
lily: how old do badgers get anyway?
shoes for the dead: are there codger badgers?
lily: I might be there
Cease: i had a birthday a few days ago, but dont feel any older
Cease: i think dodgers live longer than badgers. vin scullly is older than time
shoes for the dead: ya mustn't have gotten drunk enough then, Cease
||||||||| "Happy" Harry Cox pops in and say "I was right! Everything I knew WAS wrong! You CAN get "Profiles in Barbecue Sauce", chock full of meaty Firesign scripts!"
lily: I got a big birthday in a few weeks but I feel older than that
lily: Happy belated Birthday Cease
Rufus_T_Firetween: and early Happy Birthday to you, lily
Cease: are there little birthdays, lily?
Rufus_T_Firetween: *an
Cease: thank you, lily. i love being old. my knees, not so much
lily: Thanks 60 running right up on me
Merlyn: I just change what number base I use so I'm always 20
Cease: you have to be old to appreciate firesign, in general, unfortuately, etc
lily: 60 is the new 60
Cease: you look young merl so age will avoid you for awhile
shoes for the dead: my kids dig them at 33 and 30
lily: but I will always be 12 in my heart
shoes for the dead: and i infected them in their teens
Elayne: I stopped at age 23 somewhere in my head...
Cease: my young daughter loved to sing along with the peorgie tirebiter tune
||||||||| Catherwood tosses another cheese log on the fire and intones, "If you want to keep the cornstarch off your mukluks this season, buy a hoodie or a sweatshirt at the Firesign corner Cafepress store."
Elayne: I'm a decade more than twice that now.
shoes for the dead: yuppers El
||||||||| Nick Danger sneaks in and whispers "Get the scuttlebutt on Box of Danger here, whatever that means..."
Cease: i just turned 63 and i'm really hapy about that. sure beats being dead
Elayne: I agree, Cat. I'm glad you're happy around your birthday for a change, I know that's unusual for you.
aztec vacation: it would be hard for me to imagine typical kids having the attention span to invest in FST
Cease: i dont know, el. i'm happy more often than not
shoes for the dead: will you still love next year Cease?
shoes for the dead: us
Cease: probably
lily: Great
Cease: i was here on the first chat night. i'll be here for many more, inshalla
Cease: one of our decks has underlining wood rottingl. I feel like that myself occasionaly, but not often
Cease: i have been happy most of my long life, and i thank the firesign theatre for making that happen
lily: ditto
Merlyn: me 3
shoes for the dead: ya you can always get a sureal slant on lifes weirdness
shoes for the dead: tends to make more sense that way
lily: peaking through the slats of the fence
shoes for the dead: going by real fast
lily: yeah sure just when it gets good
Cease: have any of you had a surreal experience not involving firesign or any other intoxicant?
lily: Oliver too trippy
lily: angel dust watch out for tinker bell
Elayne: I have to leave y'all now. I left my hat on my homeward-bound bus, and you know how important there is to have a hat to, um, do things in.
Elayne: The bus is making its next run and I want to meet it at the terminus, so I'd best get ready.
shoes for the dead: pulled over in Wyo. to sleep when i woke up the prairie was on fire around us
Elayne: Next week, all
||||||||| Elayne leaves to catch the 9:45 PM train to New York.
shoes for the dead: By El
Dexter Fong: Night E. hope you find your hat so you can have...er ..uh..
lily: don't forget your tranfer slip Elayne
Cease: by el
Dexter Fong: sure is quiet in here
Cease: this chat is a creation of elayne, a gift that keeps on giving
Dexter Fong: must be the portrait gallery
||||||||| lily walks away to The Portrait Gallery.
Cease: galls and galleons. the pirate museum
||||||||| Catherwood steals into the room, and announces "Announcing 'lily', also known as 'Nancy' -- the time is 9:48 PM" -- then he slowly retires back into the Aviary...
lily: Catherwood its nasus
||||||||| Catherwood snubs lily
lily: Snubbed at last thank god Im...
||||||||| "Happy" Harry Cox pops in and say "I was right! Everything I knew WAS wrong! You CAN get "Profiles in Barbecue Sauce", chock full of meaty Firesign scripts!"
shoes for the dead: ise not free, ise expensive!
lily: Honest to pete I make myself laugh
Rufus_T_Firetween: Catherwood, give lily some canned laughter
||||||||| Catherwood gives lily some canned laughter.
||||||||| lily, spotting Bradshaw, runs into The Aviary.
shoes for the dead: in your hat probably
Cease: thats the best person to do it, lily
||||||||| Outside, the 9:53 PM crosstown bus from North Carolina pulls away, leaving lily coughing in a cloud of diesel fumes.
lily: at least when the bus took off I was home
shoes for the dead: is that what they call it "when the bus takes off?"
Cease: i think we're all bozos on this
lily: look at that clown
||||||||| Catherwood stumbles in at 9:57 PM, dragging General Dysfunction by the hair and asks "Can anyone vouch for this Firehead?"
shoes for the dead: yep I'm a Honkie
General Dysfunction: honk honk
lily: beep beep ya
shoes for the dead: drive my car
lily: toodles every ones see ya next time
lily: and thanks
Dexter Fong: night lily
shoes for the dead: by lily
General Dysfunction: how quiet how funny
Cease: by lily
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 10 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
lily: ja matta
Cease: hi gen
Cease: thats sort of japanese, lily
General Dysfunction: hey brother howdy and how do you do and while we're on the subject
||||||||| A time machine materializes at 10:01 PM and Elayne bounds out, carrying a grape from ancient Greece.
Cease: wa zoo?
Elayne: I'm back, and I have my hat!
Elayne: Oh, and this grape, I suppose
Cease: great news, el
Cease: i love hats
Elayne: I love the 21st century, I was talking with Robin the whole time and he was tracking the bus that had my hat.
Elayne: So, cell phone plus GPS plus the MTA's BusTime program, and I don't have to go to the depot to retrieve my chappeau!
Cease: its a great time to be alive, el
General Dysfunction: hat tracking!
Elayne: This is the furthest I've ever misplaced my hat on a moving vehicle.
Cease: i was talking to my doctor about that before last cancer operation. i told him i'm so happy to be alive at a time when there are treatments
||||||||| Catherwood walks up and announces "Presenting 'Nabby', just granted probation at 10:03 PM", then leaves hurriedly.
Nabby: Whoosh!
Elayne: I've left it at work a couple times, but that's stationary.
Elayne: Just so, Cat!
Elayne: Evenin' Nabby!
shoes for the dead: I'm gonna take some Trazadone and watch lights till i sleep
shoes for the dead: Hi Nabby
Elayne: Great idea, shoes - g'night!
Cease: lights are good for your brain, shoes
Cease: hey nab
shoes for the dead: Park it and Lock it!!
Cease: i think they reprogramme your neurons in an aesthetic direction
General Dysfunction: mmmmmtrazadone, drizzle drazzle drizzle drone time for this one
Elayne: Well, I'm hat-happy, and going to bed, but I'm not taking my hat to bed.
Elayne: Night again, all!
||||||||| Elayne departs at 10:09 PM, singing "Toad away, toad away; toad away, toad away! Where do you go when you're toad away?"
General Dysfunction: before, was watching Flesh and the Devil, a silent with Garbo, was full of my own dialogue, now, am speechless
||||||||| It's 10:10 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| lily - dead from the common cold
||||||||| aztec vacation - dead from the fiddlers
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
Cease: by again el
Merlyn: I'll be going too
Merlyn: hope the stream is back up next week, so we can all pee into it
||||||||| Merlyn leaves to catch the 10:18 PM train to Elmertown.
General Dysfunction: well put
Cease: always a good idea, merl
Cease: off we flee
||||||||| "10:20 PM? I'm late!" exclaims Cease, who then runs out through the french doors and down through the bushes.
Dexter Fong: Godd idea cat
||||||||| Mayor P'nisnose strides up to the podium and speaks: "My fellow Armenians, if you have questions about exorcism, buy the new book "EXORCISM IN YOUR DAILY LIFE", now on sale. Incidentally, so is my vote."
Dexter Fong: Night Ruffus Nabby GD
General Dysfunction: gosh, we're just not nothing without THEM
Dexter Fong: That's why I'm oging over there
||||||||| At 10:21 PM, the lights go out! Rocky Rococo's voice pierces the inky darkness: "I've got you now, Dexter Fong!" Shattering glass is heard, and then the lights come back on...
General Dysfunction: i too, no more here, more over there
||||||||| At 10:24 PM, the lights go out! Rocky Rococo's voice pierces the inky darkness: "I've got you now, General Dysfunction!" Shattering glass is heard, and then the lights come back on...
||||||||| It's 10:25 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| shoes for the dead - dead from jaundice
||||||||| Nabby - dead from The Plague
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| Catherwood stumbles in at 10:26 PM, dragging Principalpoop by the hair and asks "Can anyone vouch for this Firehead?"
Principalpoop: bye and hi
||||||||| At 10:27 PM, Principalpoop rushes out the door saying "Hey, mister ice-cream man, I've got a nickel, wait for meeeee..."
Rufus_T_Firetween: laters...
||||||||| Rufus_T_Firetween leaves to catch the 10:27 PM train to Billville.
||||||||| Catherwood enters, and announces to all and sundry "It's 4:32 AM, time to change the log file and clean out unused rooms; please exit the chat room for a minute or two. Thank you for your patience."

The Evening's Participants:
aztec vacation
Beet
Cease
Dexter Fong
Elayne
EWeston
General Dysfunction
kestrel74
lily
Merlyn
Nabby
Principalpoop
Rufus_T_Firetween
shoes for the dead