Weekly Firesign Chat Log

A Firesign Chat
04/03/2003

Archive

||||||||| Catherwood re-enters the Waiting Room and explains "This is the main discussion room which is logged each night."
||||||||| Catherwood announces, "The time is 4:33 AM - I now declare Thursday's chat log for April 03, 2003 officially open!"... and then, he retires back to the vestibule...
||||||||| Catherwood strides in with a trumpet, plays a fanfare, and proclaims "Nine PM on Thursday, April 03, 2003 - I now declare alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre's chat officially open!" -- then he looks around at the empty room, looks at his watch, and mumbles "...am I early?"
||||||||| Catherwood trudges in at 9:08 PM, dragging Merlyn by one foot and asks "Can anyone vouch for this bozo?"
||||||||| 9:13 PM: Dexter Fong jumps out of the hall closet saying "I've been listening to all of you talking about me for the past hour!"
||||||||| Elayne waltzes in at 9:13 PM carrying an obsidian door knocker.
Merlyn: hey dex
Elayne: Evenin' all!
Dexter Fong: Hi Merl..and waltzing Elayne
Merlyn: hey
Dexter Fong: afk for a drink
||||||||| Gusts of wind blow in from outside and the thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of helicopter blades is heard as Happy Panditt's chopper lands on the lawn and Ken disembarks at 9:15 PM.
Elayne: Hi Ken!
Ken: good evening, dear friends
Dexter Fong: Hey Ken^
Ken: our thought for the day: "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and those are the ones you have to concentrate on." -George W. Bush, April 2001
Ken: i haven't been able to verify that quote, but i like it anyway :)
Elayne: Great quote, Ken.
Elayne: Let me see if I can find a source.
Ken: i got a ton of them (well, figuratively)
Elayne: http://www.commondreams.org/views02/0912-09.htm
Dexter Fong: Tonight on Fox, a special report from Geraldo Rivera in Kuwait "The Lost Treasure of Al-Qapon"
||||||||| Catherwood steals into the room, and intones "Announcing 'Regular Boinkland', also known as 'Nancy' -- the time is 9:19 PM" -- then he slowly retires back into the vestibule...
Elayne: http://www.alternet.org/story.html?StoryID=14097
Elayne: Hey Reg!
Merlyn: lol dex
Dexter Fong: Hey Regular, you gotta any weed man?
Regular Boinkland: Hey Elayne
Ken: hi reggie
Dexter Fong: Maybe some of that stuff the kids were smoking when they disappeared the Highschool?
Elayne: http://www.bushbacklash.com/page_01.html is probably the best source.
Regular Boinkland: I got this stuff the kids were smoking the time they disappeared their High School!
Ken: e: thanks a lot for that, i haven't tried to find it, just got sent to me a while ago
Merlyn: what I wanna know is, why would anyone believe Geraldo's ability to know where the hell he is anyway?
Dexter Fong: Dat's what I'm talkin' about Reg=)
Elayne: Now it's logged, Ken, so I can refer to it when I blog about it. Thanks for the blog fodder! :)
Regular Boinkland: Theres an echo in here !
Dexter Fong: Merl: "cause the Army told him so
Ken: regular, let me guess: you sell metamucil by day and fight constipation by night
Dexter Fong: Drew a map in the sand
||||||||| Catherwood escorts marc the shark in through the front door at 9:21 PM, picks up his cues (only slightly scorched), and heads for the billiard room.
Dexter Fong: Doc Tech?
Ken: hi marc
marc the shark: Hello
Dexter Fong: Hi Marc
marc the shark: Hi!
Dexter Fong: High marks indeed
Elayne: http://www.webguild.com/sentinel/heartland.htm identifies when he said it. It was at a Gridiron dinner in Washington.
Elayne: Hello Marc!
Regular Boinkland: No Ken I have Ethel for that! She has three 45's and the one in the middle looks hungry
Ken: are you a great white shark or a harmless variety?
Merlyn: have we jumped the shark?
marc the shark: Hiya Elayne!
Dexter Fong: It could be Judy the Nurse shark
marc the shark: naww, just a plain old Marko-shark
Elayne: Apparently it's actually a Robert S. Strauss quote, whoever he was.
Ken: so, would marc be short for marcia if it's judy in disguise?
Regular Boinkland: If it's a Great White watch out for the fire works!
Elayne: Even I wasn't cynical enough to realize GWB plagiarized that one.
Dexter Fong: E: He went to Yale didn't he?
Ken: oh yeah, forgot about that coinkydink
marc the shark: yes
Regular Boinkland: DF Shows you what a degree from Yale and Harvard are worth!
Ken: talk about me for a few, i'm going to make a pot of coffee
Elayne: Dex, if it's the same RSS, he was once the US ambassador to Russia. See http://www.washingtonlife.com/backissues/01apr/strauss.htm
Dexter Fong: Reg: Don't think he went to Harvard so it's still...um ...unsullied?
||||||||| "9:26 PM? 9:26 PM!!" says Catherwood, "Dave should be here by now...oh, THERE you are!" as Dave enters and sits on the couch.
Dave: "all right hold it right there!"
Dexter Fong: Hi Dave
Regular Boinkland: Hi Dave?
marc the shark: Hello Dave
Dave enters with a little black doxen
Dave: better than yesterday though
Regular Boinkland: I like little black disoxen myself!
Dexter Fong: Reg: Re: your last name, Boinkland? I always thought it was Boynklyn
Ken: hi dave
Regular Boinkland: Thats the Finish spelling DF!
Dave: so 've ya seen page 8? neither have I!, ahahahahahahaha
Dave: sorry had to do that
Ken: ok, coffee pot is gurgling, soon that magical alkaloid will be coursing through my veins again
||||||||| Elayne says "Catherwood, call me a cab." After the obvious joke, Elayne exits at 9:30 PM.
Merlyn: I supposed a little dauchshund is better than a big dog
Ken: she left with no warning
Dexter Fong: K: In NYC when you can get a cab, you're outta here
Merlyn: She usually doesn't use the exit button, so maybe she hit it by mistake
||||||||| "9:30 PM? 9:30 PM!!" says Catherwood, "Elayne should be here by now...oh, THERE you are!" as Elayne enters and sits on the couch.
Dave: I know that's from a song
Elayne: Ken, you've been immortalized. http://elayneriggs.blogspot.com
Ken: ah, speak of the devil....
Elayne: Thanks very much for the inspiration.
Dexter Fong: Devil
Regular Boinkland: She's back and she's beautiful!
Elayne: Sorry, I had to exit briefly to get the URL for this chat. :)
Dave: what the devil?
Ken: ah, she only had to exit to write in her blog :)
Dexter Fong: And she's wearing Camoflage Bossom bonnets
Elayne: On both my boobies!
Ken: heh heh, she said "boobies"
Dexter Fong: And the boobies are flying high over Bagdad
Elayne: Well, you can fool some boobs all of the time.
Elayne: Boobies don't fly, but they sure do float!
Ken: i wonder if john wayne would star in that movie: "boobs over baghdad"
Elayne: I'd pay to see Maureen O'Hara star in that one. :)
Dexter Fong: ...and here comes the National Florists float, filled with boobies and Vand orchids
Dave: really lol Ken
Ken: jimmy stewart as the comic sidekick
Dexter Fong: Vanda
Regular Boinkland: And Uncle Ernie as the beaver!
marc the shark: America's secret weapon of Mass Distraction?? Boobies?!? Wheres the old National Lampoon's Foto Funnies when ya need 'em!
Dexter Fong: A plug Reg?
Ken: so, is regular functionally equivalent to uncle ernie?
Merlyn: and the boobs in washington running the show
Dexter Fong: Boobs your Uncle
Regular Boinkland: You talk of credits Dex at a time like this haveatchoo!
Merlyn: boobs in arms
Ken: boobs in toyland
Dexter Fong: Welcome to the breast of Firechat
Elayne: Well, I like to keep abreast of the news.
Ken: breast? i'll take mine stuffed and lightly sautéed, please
Dave: yes, welcom to Firechat radio, playing the breast of the FST
Merlyn: tanks for the mammaries
marc the shark: I think were all Boobzo..Nawww I will NOT go there
Dave: with our topless nurse Judy
Ken: shake 'em, judy!
Regular Boinkland: Tits all right Dex I fingered it out for myself!
Ken: ooh, look at those tassels rotate. one clockwise, one counterclockwise. where's klok when we need him?
Merlyn: I'll be doing shakespeare from the balcony
Dexter Fong: K: But that one in the center looks hungry
Regular Boinkland: He's not being mean to Bambi, She LIKES it that way!
Ken: speaking of clocks, does everyone remember that this weekend is national "turn the clock forward" daylight savings time?
Dexter Fong: K: I never turned *any* of my watches back last fall so I'm way ahead of the game
Dave: yeah, and I just reset my clock as I knocked the batteries out of it, one more hour, hope I remember which is the hour button
Ken: dex: every time i try to turn mine ahead OR back, i end up messing everything up. so, my watch has this nifty 2nd time zone feature, i just switch to that in april
Elayne: Wait, that's an hour less sleep, right?
Dexter Fong: Right E;
Elayne: Dang, first my boss refuses to let me take a vacation day tomorrow to recoup some "mental health" by sleeping, and now this.
Ken: yes, elayne, but you get it back in october. sweet dreams, m'dear
Regular Boinkland: Does that mean this clock in here will be acurate? Or what?
Dave: yes it is, but you get to wake up with the birds singing outside your window and get to practice your early morning shooting tactics
Dexter Fong: E: Tell him you've got the 24 hour SARS
Ken: probably "or what"
||||||||| Catherwood strides up and snorts derisively "Presenting 'doctec', just granted probation at 9:40 PM", then leaves hurriedly.
doctec: hi gang
Ken: hi tom
Elayne: Hi Tom!
Merlyn: yer hardly late at all; come back later
Elayne: LOL, Dex!
doctec: just popped in long enough to tell you - i'm headed out to have dinner w'Lili now
Regular Boinkland: Ho Doc!
Dexter Fong: Hey DT
Ken: yes, we're the neo-stalinist "gang of 4 or 5"
marc the shark: Dave: Hey I like that, Shreaded "Tweet" for breakfast!
Dave: hey doc! can I have a quarter?
Elayne: Sushi, Tom? :)
Dave: I need something for my SARS!
doctec: i helped her clear out her dining room, carpenter & painter will be in tomorrow early a.m. to work on it
Dexter Fong: Sashat, Lili?
doctec: a quarter of what?
Dexter Fong: Sashay
doctec: anyway, not sushi but local "Cheers"-like bistro we frequent - frequently
Elayne: Well, you know, sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name.
Dexter Fong: El Bistro Busto?
doctec: so y'all enjoy - i'll be checking in again at around 10:30 or 11
doctec: the name of the place is Tucker's
Dexter Fong: Czech
Merlyn: ok doc
Elayne: Later, Tom! Have fun! Say hi to Lili for me!
Dexter Fong: Keep your chalk dry
doctec: thanx gang - i'll catch y'all on the flip side
doctec: ttfn
||||||||| Around 9:44 PM, doctec walks off into the sunset...
||||||||| "9:45 PM? 9:45 PM!!" says Catherwood, "C. Simril should be here by now...oh, THERE you are!" as C. Simril enters and sits on the couch.
C. Simril: i just missed doc tec
Dexter Fong: 9:44? So Doc'll be here for another 13 minutes
Ken: hey cat
Dexter Fong: He will return Cat
Dexter Fong: 10:30 or elevenish
C. Simril: i got an email from him saying he wouldnt be here til 1130 his time
C. Simril: but YOURE all here
Dexter Fong: He just went to cheer or something
Elayne: Hi Cat!
Ken: hail, hell, the gang's all here
Elayne: He and Lili are going out to dinner, he'll be back in a couple hours.
C. Simril: his production of Red Shift deserves 3 cheers, at least
C. Simril: hi el
Dexter Fong: 'ooray, 'oorah, 'oohroo
C. Simril: just had fish eggs for the first time at a downtown tapas place last night
Regular Boinkland: As you were Dex!
C. Simril: something you old sushi heads have known about for years
Ken: cat: caviar or just plain roe
Dexter Fong: Reg: ..and as it shall be...Shelby?
C. Simril: glowing orange things. i thought they were carmelized orange or something
C. Simril: top of a piece of halibut the size of a us silver dollar, profoundly citrusy
Ken: sounds like salmon roe then. about 1mm or less in diameter?
Dexter Fong: Cat: They're in everybodys omelets
C. Simril: exquisite. very nouveau cuisine kind of tapas
Regular Boinkland: Jamaican Jerk Sause heap good Kimosabe!
||||||||| Catherwood escorts klokwkdog in through the front door at 9:49 PM, picks up his cues (only slightly scorched), and heads for the billiard room.
C. Simril: actually they were flying fish eggs, or so the profoundly pregnant young waitress told us
C. Simril: hi klok, others
Elayne: Hey Klok!
Dexter Fong: 'yo Dog....keep it real
Ken: rock around the klok!
Regular Boinkland: Klock!
C. Simril: tobiko in japanese. all those years there and i never tried them, or imagined i ever would
||||||||| marc the shark says "Catherwood, call me a cab." After the obvious joke, marc the shark exits at 9:50 PM.
klokwkdog: hello
C. Simril: as opposed to fictictious? that doesnt apply to your country no more
Elayne: The eggy thing sounds yummy, Cat.
C. Simril: by marc, whoever you were
Merlyn: hey kwd
Elayne: Isn't that "fictition?" :)
Ken: a la michael moore. i laughed at that
Dexter Fong: Cat: There ain't nothin' hardly realer than a Tomahawk missle landing in your vicinity
C. Simril: well as part of a halbut bit with a french name and some extraordinary herbed bread and gallons of superb sangria, even life long roe-avoider Cat could eat em
C. Simril: well, i've got my george w. bush spelling cap on
Elayne: I know Fred Durst for one was in agreeance with Moore.
Ken: who is fred durst?
C. Simril: i enjoyed michael moore's comments
Ken: i didn't watch the show
Dexter Fong: Fred Durst , K
Elayne: Ken, he's a member of a band called Limp Biskit.
Dave: well folks, I'm gonna go eat, will be back on later, no quote right now, later yall
C. Simril: is he the guy who used to (maybe still is) be with duck's breath?
||||||||| Dave says "Catherwood, call me a cab." After the obvious joke, Dave exits at 9:52 PM.
Dexter Fong: Later Dave
Elayne: He used the word "agreeance" in a little anti-war speechlet at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame awards a couple weeks back.
C. Simril: eat well dave. i always do
Ken: ok, that explains it. i've heard of them, and don't care to listen to that genre of music
Elayne: See, I was tying in anti-war speech flubs... oh, never mind...
Ken: circular thoughts, elayne, but sometimes i get caught in the moebius strip mall of thoughts
Dexter Fong: Ken: Wasn't that part of Conceptionland?
Ken: i was not conceived, i'm immaculate
Ken: well, at least i just got out of shower shortly before chatting. clean on the outside, filthy on the inside
Dexter Fong: Ken: You was conceived, disceived, andjust plain sieved
Ken: holey moley!
Dexter Fong: What would Jesus seive
Dexter Fong: or is it sieve?
Ken: i before e except after c (and a lot of other ones too)
Regular Boinkland: And sometimes Y?
Ken: why? because we LOVE you!
Dexter Fong: YCEI! YCEI
Regular Boinkland: Molsd!
C. Simril: hey merlyn
Ken: e i e i o
Merlyn: what?
Dexter Fong: Mickey Molsd
C. Simril: did those Hour Hour clips ever go up on the firesign site?
Merlyn: I've got the 10 minute segment up, but it isn't publically announced yet.
Ken: or, if you're a doobies fan, minute minute clips
C. Simril: aha
Merlyn: I've got the others in realaudio, haven't uploaded them yet
C. Simril: whenever
Regular Boinkland: I love my doobies!
C. Simril: i prefer hookahs
Ken: i haven't had a doobie in ages (nor heard them)
Regular Boinkland: Are you a catapillar?
C. Simril: no, just a cat
Merlyn: I think I have 3 clips
Ken: i have a roach clip if i had a doobie....
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 10 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
C. Simril: 70s version of "if i had a hammer?"
Ken: "if i had a doobie, i'd doobie in the mawnin'...."
Regular Boinkland: If I had a doobie I'd toke it in the morning I'd toke it in the evening all over this land!
Elayne: Ah, toking. Yes, must take care of the PMS. Good idea. Next week, all!
Ken: just don't let little johnny asscroft know about it
Merlyn: bye e
||||||||| Elayne leaves to catch the 10:02 PM train to Hellmouth.
C. Simril: sounds like the theme song to the pot-tv news, 'smoke 2 joints'
klokwkdog: goodnite E
C. Simril: by el
Regular Boinkland: I thought she lived in Heater?
C. Simril: maybe just her mouth lives in hell
Ken: wasn't that a tony orlando song? "smoke two joints on the ceiling if you love me"
Regular Boinkland: Ah ...
klokwkdog: no, that was Tony Mondegreen, Ken
Regular Boinkland: Take this cyberpipe full of Road Apple Red and pass it around ...
Ken: see, all that smoking DID affect my memory
C. Simril: thanks, red man
Dexter Fong: ...um...what were we talking about?
Dexter Fong: boobies?
Dexter Fong: newbies?
Ken: "gimme a head with boobies, long beautiful boobies...."
Regular Boinkland: Boobies heap good Kemosabe!
Dexter Fong: Rubies, my dear
Dexter Fong: Here Sheriff, take this brassiere, Tonto no longer need it
C. Simril: ernest hemingway called his son "Bumby" for some reason
Ken: ol' ernie was probably drunk
C. Simril: that sounds like an hour hour riff, dex
Dexter Fong: Cat: You got it
C. Simril: just saw mini-series about hemmingway, morley callaghan, f stop fitzerald and james joyce
Ken: cat: now that you got it, whacha gonna do with it?
Regular Boinkland: To the Frigate Matilda!
Ken: i just watched lawrence of arabia on saturday, first time ever. damned LONG movie
Dexter Fong: K: He's gonna hold it up to the light and make sure there aren't any tiny pin pricks in it
C. Simril: now that i have the cd, i'm gonna start listening to Giant Rat a lot more often
C. Simril: you'll come a frigging matilda with me
Dexter Fong: Anybody here wanna contact CD?
C. Simril: a lot closer to the original meaning of the song then is generally known now
Regular Boinkland: Oh it's shy are ya, well leave me get me dog and lets go. Come on blind Jim ...
Ken: is that like a contact print from negatives? wouldn't it be backwards then and say "i am paul"?
Dexter Fong: Look out for th display of PJ Proby Wine Blind Jim
C. Simril: lol
||||||||| Bunnyboy sneaks in around 10:11 PM, trying to avoid Catherwood because of last week's "unpleasant incident."
Regular Boinkland: Get in this barrel darlin' and we'll do it hurricane styyle!
Dexter Fong: CD = Cryalot Dudley
Bunnyboy: lo dere
Ken: hey bun
C. Simril: hi bunny
Dexter Fong: High here Bun
Merlyn: hey bb
Bunnyboy: D is a P and P is a G...
C. Simril: hurricane carter style? decades in jail to a dylan tune?
Regular Boinkland: Hi der Bun?
Ken: do it tornado style and you might get a twitty tister
klokwkdog: actually, W. Matilda was written by Banjo Patterson who helped manage the horses for the Arabian campaign in WWI
C. Simril: you hear Red Shift, bun?
Bunnyboy: "Kick up Resident..."
Ken: damn, klok, you're just a veritable FOUNT of knowledge :)
C. Simril: there's a hemingway quote in it
Regular Boinkland: Banjo Paterson wrotye "Won't you come frig in the riggin' with me"?
C. Simril: you hear Red Shift, bun?
C. Simril: it's up on the website with Tiny
Bunnyboy: cat: I've seen the files lying...ehrm, "over there". Just haven't downloaded 'em yet. Really want to, this weekend sometime. Busy boy, me.
C. Simril: hope you're pleased. you did a fine job. i want to put your Dolphin Beer piece on the website
klokwkdog: yeah, I bought one of those knowledge fountains at he local K-Mart. They're closing it down; everything's on sale...
C. Simril: doc is just getting into label production. i trust
Bunnyboy: Oh, cool! Yes, I love Dolphin Beer, almost as much as...AASS LAGER!
||||||||| Outside, the 10:15 PM downtown bus from Funfun Town pulls away, leaving nurse judy coughing in a cloud of diesel fumes.
Ken: next time i'm up your way i'll throw three coins in the fountain then
nurse judy: feh feh choke gag
C. Simril: hi nurse. or if not, have some of this road apple red we've been passing around
Ken: alloy, nurse judy
Regular Boinkland: Is that from Animal Brewries?
Dexter Fong: NJ, Hi
Bunnyboy: Where's the Tiny and RS site, cat?
klokwkdog: i had it in the front yard for awhile, but the neighbors complained because all their kids were turning into smartasses
Regular Boinkland: Judy Judy Judy!
nurse judy: hey ho chaterinos
Ken: well, klok, like my dad always told me, better a smartass than a dumbass
Dexter Fong: Klok: You could be sued for that...an attractive nuisance
Bunnyboy: Anybody see the American Masters thang on Joni Mitchell? Spectacular!
Ken: shit, bun, i wanted to and forgot it
Ken: just turned on "frontline" a few seconds ago
Dexter Fong: Bunny: I didn't know Mitchell played golf
nurse judy: i'm a little bleary eyed from switching back and forth between Citizen and Smackdown
klokwkdog: we shall go to our doom down Wattling Street
Ken: smackdown? are the geese on heroin now?
nurse judy: Kane versus Big Show
Dexter Fong: Ale! Ale! The gang's all 'ere
nurse judy: chasing the dragons
klokwkdog: They wouldn't let her into the club, Dex
Dexter Fong: ..and draggin' the chaste
nurse judy: Dragon wattles good on toast
C. Simril: yeah i taped it. it was great. oddly, she's no american and it was first shown on cbc a few weeks ago
Bunnyboy: Doo dah! Doo dah!
Ken: dragon sausage good with waffles too
C. Simril: beautiful cinematography. i'd forgotten how good her songs were
nurse judy: Joni VS John Mitchell
klokwkdog: no contest
C. Simril: people will remember her long after they've forgotten who john mitchell was. like NOW
Ken: sounds like some match there
Bunnyboy: John Cameron Swayze VS Patrick Swayze
Dexter Fong: ..in a Texas Chain Saw, Steel Cage, Indian death match massecre
Bunnyboy: Patrick Magee VS Patrick Macnee
C. Simril: mr texas chain saw himself, former irc member luger axehandle as Mao in red shift
Dexter Fong: Magee's got a trick knee I understand
C. Simril: another fine performance
nurse judy: Maggee VS Magoo
Bunnyboy: Dex: It might be a little stiff, seeing as how he's long been stiff.
Ken: did you have mao inhibitor too?
Bunnyboy: Magoo VS Magloo
Dexter Fong: Fibber Maghee VS The Great Gildersleeve
C. Simril: Fibber vs Flubber?
Dexter Fong: Flipper VS Flapper
Merlyn: hey cat, how long did you say the finished shift is?
C. Simril: Larry "Flipper" Bird
nurse judy: Shift VS Shaft
Dexter Fong: ooohhhh! Red=)
C. Simril: 40 min i think, merl
nurse judy: is it shift shape yet?
Merlyn: OK; right, a bit too long for a half hour slot
Dexter Fong: With a Time Limit of 40 minutes, from parts unknown...
C. Simril: doc has the time of each act on the cover, but i dont have it yet
nurse judy: he's a real shifter
C. Simril: unless you play it in parts
C. Simril: private parts, reporting for duty, sir
Dexter Fong: Part the Chaptere
nurse judy: or play it in pants
Ken: i'll take the trombone part
Dexter Fong: Slide Ken
nurse judy: baggie pants comics
Ken: dex: i actually did that professionally for the usaf in early 70s
Dexter Fong: A = 440 hmmmmmmm
nurse judy: glad wrapped
Dexter Fong sings "She Glad wrapped all over"
Ken: 589th air force band, mcdill afb, tampa, 3rd trombone (bass)
Dexter Fong: K: What's the Serial number of the Trambone?
nurse judy: I'm a towel headed shifter from upper keys
Ken: no trick questions, please, i was doing a LOT of drugs back then
Dexter Fong: NJ; I think it's spelled Quees
Regular Boinkland: Ken so you know all the words to the "Up in the air Jr. Birdman" song?
nurse judy: or was that a goat eyed flipper from never after
Ken: as an interesting sidebar, the french word for paper clip is trombone (look at the shape)
Dexter Fong: For you later arrivals..."Tonight on Fox; Live from Kuwait with Geraldo Rivera, "The Lost Treasure of Al-Quapon"
Ken: reggie: no, but i can play the 3rd trombone part to every sousa march ever written in my sleep
klokwkdog: now it's a "freedom trumpet"
C. Simril: and you all know about operation paper clip, that brought the nazis to the us to work for its military?
nurse judy: bosco di gama ray
Merlyn: well, the US will now call them "freedom clips" and "freedom bones"
C. Simril: that's not my dept, said werner von braun
Dexter Fong: K: YOu wrote Souse marches in you're sleep?
Ken: cat: a very interesting subject, one i'm partially familiar with
C. Simril: a ref to that in both Red shift and a proctor and bergman piece for npr
nurse judy: freedom kisses
||||||||| Dave sneaks in around 10:27 PM, trying to avoid Catherwood because of last week's "unpleasant incident."
klokwkdog: ...and we thought it was Edgar Cayce...
Ken: dex: no, i look back and see that incorrectly phrased i
C. Simril: ever worse was the us military bringing the japanese bio war folks over to work for it
Dave: mmmm, homemade pizza, lots of garlic
Regular Boinkland: Once the rockets are up who cares where they come down thats not my department says ...
nurse judy: EC's asleep with the finches
C. Simril: artitlce about that in this months' harpers
Dexter Fong: Edgar KC and The Sunshine Band
Ken: dave, you're back!
Dave: that'll go over well with the chicks, eh?
klokwkdog: if there is a phrase error, the eye diagram closes up
C. Simril: some of the worst war crimes in history (and that says a LOT) and instead of hanging the motherfuckers, they get jobs with the us military
Dave: reg Tom Lehrer, one of my heroes
nurse judy: austin made his non appearance yet?
Ken: it's only a short leap from v-2 to saturn-5
klokwkdog: an infinite variety of well-formed utterances
Regular Boinkland: Mine too Dave!
C. Simril: just so YOU folks could have a great programme of weapons of mass destruction
Dexter Fong: NJ: No he wasn't here than
nurse judy: doesn't take a rocket scientist to finger that out
Ken: no mass destruction here, we're not catholics
C. Simril: oh dave, you're back. how was dinner?
klokwkdog: seven spoons?
nurse judy: or is that a pocket scientist? popeal anyone?
Regular Boinkland: Uh oh it's that time again ... Mr. Birdseed, Go To Press!
Dexter Fong: ...and 8 for dinner?
Ken: g'nite, unca ernie
Dexter Fong: Press! UE
C. Simril: i just used that line in my new flick
Regular Boinkland: Later Y'all Keep'em flying! http://issuesandalibis.org
klokwkdog: BTW, cat, could not have been Germinal; they didn't have 1927 Chevrolet engines
Dexter Fong: Klok: Correct, it wasvas a German Auto Union car
klokwkdog: free the BUtterfield 8!
C. Simril: i thought the 27 chevy was a firesign addition, klok
C. Simril: oh, that's who you are
nurse judy: a red shifted flicker
Ken: you sure it wasn't a firesign subtraction?
Dexter Fong: Cat: I think not
C. Simril: austin doesnt seem to recall and i'd have to check Germinal out of the library to see it the lines fit
Bunnyboy: Back. Been away a bit. Bunnette took a leedle tumble. She's OK now.
klokwkdog: i can't even account for myself, Cat
C. Simril: that's good, bun
nurse judy: count me out
Bunnyboy: Been gone since Magloo was a pup.
C. Simril: ok, you're out
Bunnyboy: RHINOCEROS is out on DVD this week. I may have to splurge.
klokwkdog: i must be the odd man, then
Dexter Fong: Out! you're crazy...he vas safe
Merlyn: the zero mostel version?
C. Simril: the play?
Dexter Fong: ...as safe as bunkers...er houses
Bunnyboy: How often do you get to see film versions of Ionesco's work?
klokwkdog: vas, vos, vox, vixen, jumboliah
||||||||| "Hey Regular Boinkland!" ... Regular Boinkland turns, and sees Bradshaw approching with the handcuffs, and is dragged away, screaming "it's only 10:34 PM, I don't have to go yet!"...
Bunnyboy: Merl: OH, yah. Lemme get you the URL...
||||||||| A time machine materializes at 10:34 PM and EricTravis steps out, carrying a grape from ancient Greece.
C. Simril: maybe if you lived in romania, more often
nurse judy: i remember that band! The Mother's drummer was in it and iron butterfly's guitarist
Dexter Fong: Hi erci
Merlyn: I remember seeing it on TV years ago
C. Simril: eric
Bunnyboy: www.kino.com
Dexter Fong: Jumboliah unt a Wiener schnitzel
Dexter Fong: unt more Wattlings Ale
Ken: hey, eric
Bunnyboy: 6 or 7 digital releases of The American Film Theatre series, including THE ICEMAN COMETH, with Lee Marvin and Fredric March.
Dave: anyone here a Spike Jones fan? just got some stuff, might be too old for yall but ya never know, thought I would
Dave: ask
Ken: dave: i know of him a little, what i've heard was great
Bunnyboy: I've heard the new METROPOLIS Special Edition is vunderbar.
nurse judy: Spike's My Man, except for that album
Dexter Fong: Dave: Spike's stuff is absolutely extraordinary, and remember, it was all done live, no tape
C. Simril: a vancouver chamber music quartet is performing works by spike jones and frank zappa this month
C. Simril: i saw it recently, bunny. it's fantastic
nurse judy: Spike made it to the tape era!
C. Simril: new russian flick opening tomorrow i want to see. The Russian Ark
Dexter Fong: Maybe NJ: But he started in the late 30's very early 50's
Dexter Fong: 40's
nurse judy: Rotwang Lives!
Bunnyboy: A sign of the end times: The Farrelly Brothers have been signed to develop a new Three Stooges movie. Can you hear that impending sucking sound?
Ken: noahski's ark?
Ken: with dubya as curly?
nurse judy: 42
Dave: yeah far out, I've got some of his stuff, anyone know about the collection that's gonna come out on the 8th? saw it at amazon, got the Anthology just the other day, great shit
C. Simril: in der fuhrer's face
Bunnyboy: I would guess they'd cast Ben Stiller as Moe, Woody Harrelson or Owen Wilson as Larry...
Bunnyboy: And Curly? Hmmmmmmmmm...that's tough...
Ken: marlon brando!
Bunnyboy: Vin Diesel?
Ken: jack nicholson?
nurse judy: how about the firesign as the 3 stooges, who would be who?
klokwkdog: too cerebral
||||||||| It's 10:40 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| EricTravis - dead from dengue fever
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
C. Simril: bergman as mo
klokwkdog: 'way too cerebral!
Bunnyboy: Bergman as Moe, if he's wearing his ANGRY hat!
nurse judy: Ossman as Shemp?
C. Simril: proctor as curly
Dave: PP is Curley
Bunnyboy: Burt Ward as Curly.
Merlyn: I'm larry, and this is my brother moe, and this is my other brother moe, and there's curley
Ken: just bill it as "firesign theatre as the three stooges" and let them rotate parts. keep 'em guessing
klokwkdog: after 12, I couldn't stand to watch Stooges
Bunnyboy: Crispin Glover as Larry.
C. Simril: i would have guessed pp would have been the first to show up on a chat, and he's the only one who never has
||||||||| Larry Martin enters at 10:42 PM as Catherwood takes their hat and goat and runs off to the Haberdashery Barn.
||||||||| Catherwood escorts EricTravis in through the front door at 10:42 PM, picks up his cues (only slightly scorched), and heads for the billiard room.
klokwkdog: after 25, I had trouble with the Marxes
klokwkdog: but FST never wears thin
EricTravis: Hi All. Sorry, the computer bombed.
Ken: ah, eric, they let you out on bail again
Bunnyboy: Speaking of Larry...
Bunnyboy: Buenos Dios!
nurse judy: i had the trouble with Moses from since Egypt
C. Simril: Bird lives
Larry Martin: Hello all.
Ken: probably not a smart bomb, huh?
Dave: I love the Stooges, funny thing is, they're very very visual, I've had my dad describe some episodes to me, great stuff, really funny
EricTravis: Now we can make tortillas!
Dave: even the noises are funny, that's why I really like Spike Jones and the FST a lot, very auditory
nurse judy: Curly fries instead of freedom fried
Dexter Fong: Hi Larry
Bunnyboy: The "swearing in Curly" scene is superlative.
C. Simril: ah, spanish omlettes
Ken: yes, dave, i don't know how i'd appreciate them without seeing them
Larry Martin: My first venture into the room... so I'm just going to hang out until I catch the groove okay?
nurse judy: take off that hat
Bunnyboy: The flys, they are in....everybody's eggs.
EricTravis: Awelcome to new eSpain...
||||||||| Catherwood says "10:44 PM, time for SOMEONE to leave!", grabs Dexter Fong by the collar and gives 'em the old bum's rush out the door
: Tortillas
Ken: larry: say anything, it will make sense to *someone* here!
||||||||| Catherwood enters with Dexter Dong close behind, mutters something about disrupting his 10:45 PM tree-stunting plans, and runs off to the Aviary.
Dave: are they Spanish flies, ew!
C. Simril: all spades are groovy
Bunnyboy: Groove? Aw, that's old school, son! DIGITAL is where the chat's at.
Ken: ah, we have long dong silver here now
EricTravis: O, my white brother...
nurse judy: chat chads
klokwkdog: which digital?
Dexter Dong: All spades are digital
Larry Martin: My Uncle Ernie mentioned this place and I just thought I'd drop by and see what sort of trouble he was into...
C. Simril: so are entrenching tools
Larry Martin: looks serious...
C. Simril: you aint got no friends on your left
Larry Martin )
Bunnyboy: I gotta go feed the missus. Swellness to all!
EricTravis: Ernesto de Garcia?
Ken: we are seriously insane....
nurse judy: embedded tools: journalists
klokwkdog: he's in big, big trouble. The Ashcroft is trailing him with 20 hounds
klokwkdog: that
Ken: the hounds of the bashcroftvilles?
C. Simril: proctor's card: The Perfect Tool
klokwkdog: that's embedded capitalist tools to you, NJ
Bunnyboy: tip-toe tip-toe sneak sneak sneak...
Larry Martin: Yeah well we better speak in code. Make a lot of references to the constitution that'll throw him off the trail
nurse judy: live at the ashcroft
Ken: bun: you walking through the tulips again?
||||||||| Bunnyboy rushes off, saying "10:48 PM? Mark Time is almost on! Where's a radio?"
EricTravis: New Jersey, Old Jersey, what's the difference once the head's blowed off?
C. Simril: dear friends redux
klokwkdog: he'll strip away amendment after amendment until he finds him, LM
EricTravis: Moo
Larry Martin: Say you guys wouldn't be "liberals" would you...
C. Simril: i thought the war with the cows was over
nurse judy: i gotten liberal with a few
EricTravis: No true Mississippi cowhard...
C. Simril: they're the governing party in my country, if you wanna call that a Party
klokwkdog: nah, we're Libertarians under contraction
Ken: larry: that's FLAMING liberal to you, son!
klokwkdog: keep your flambe to yourself: it's a freedom flame now!
Larry Martin: IRoger that Ken. I'm so far to the left Noam Chomsky looks like Pat Buchanan
Ken: and the contractions are only 4 yrs apart now
C. Simril: ah, canadian
EricTravis: Like a month to a frame
klokwkdog: that's not politics, Larry, you may need new glasses...
||||||||| Catherwood leads Dexter Fong inside, makes a note of the time (10:50 PM), then fades off into the distance going on about the waiting room or the sitting room or something.
C. Simril: they guy who got all those votes in florida?
nurse judy: breaking waters
klokwkdog: try the rose-colored ones the White House has on sale
EricTravis: FST give equal-opportunity disparagement
klokwkdog: you mean Richard Daley?
Ken: wow, i've never seen anyone that far left! reminds me of t-shirt i saw yesterday: "if you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space"
||||||||| Merlyn aka 'The Reaper' has killed off Dexter Dong at 10:51 PM
Merlyn: kerpow
Ken: what can you do with a dead dong?
Dexter Fong: Nice shooting, Tonto!
C. Simril: i guess he didnt beat the reaper
Larry Martin: Man what did dexter do? Looks like he's been a bad boy...
EricTravis: I hear they're selling the beaks on eBay as aphrodisiacs
klokwkdog: it's like a high-pass filter, Ken - it's really a bandpass around infinite frequency. Once they get too left-wing, they alias to mortals as far-right types...
Dexter Fong: I Dopplegangered
Ken: i used to filter my high through water. loved the bubbles
klokwkdog: me, I just loved the infinite part, Ken
nurse judy: distracted water wings
Dexter Fong: Infinite bubbles
Ken: the clock strikes two: BONG BONG
Dexter Fong: You got that time from Catherwood, Ken?
nurse judy: strike 2 bongs
klokwkdog: Catherwood won't give anybody the right time of day...
Ken: nah, i get my time from an old wind-up chronograph
klokwkdog: it's a new record every time, eh?
EricTravis: I'd give two chinchillas for a little bit of time
Dexter Fong: I like a combe: Waterpipe/clock
klokwkdog: time...time...
nurse judy: I'll take 2 gerbils and shrew
Ken: did anyone listen to the archive story on npr last tuesday?
klokwkdog: last orders, gentlepersons!
C. Simril: mutant blue 2?
Dexter Fong: Quick ste[
Dexter Fong: p
EricTravis: Of course
klokwkdog: i looked at the schedule you sent, but nothing seemed real
Ken: last story on the list, i'm retrieving the url now
EricTravis: Oh, it's reel this time...
nurse judy: gimme 3 spades, 2 entrenching tools and a cartridge in a camel
klokwkdog: Yeah, we got the ultimate reality show going, so fantasy gets short shrift
Dexter Fong: ...don't forget the wetback, NJ
nurse judy: i bid 3 dick jokes, 2 impersonations and one one-liner
C. Simril: i have the copywrite on all that seems real
Dave: what the hell does, "heavy on the 30 weight mean?" er, if I fucked that up, I haven't listened to Dwarf in a long time, but what does that mean, anyone know?
Dexter Fong: NJ: You can't underbid yourself
klokwkdog: Amazon didn't beet u to it, Cat?
klokwkdog: oh, I see SAEspeak coming...
Dexter Fong: Dave: Perhpas among otherthings, refers directly to a grade of motor oil
nurse judy: I'll raise your dick joke and flaten your one liner
C. Simril: a heavy oil, not normally found on cereal, except in the firesign universe
Ken: http://discover.npr.org/rundowns/rundown.jhtml?prgId=2&prgDate=April/1/2003 story titled "shellac"
klokwkdog: oil on troubled waters...
EricTravis: From an undisclosed dislocation...
Dexter Fong: NJ: Will be elimintaed from the auction if they keep bidding against herself
C. Simril: that parson's riff from 2 places never more relavent
EricTravis: With enough oil/beer in the American working man...
klokwkdog: 30 weight is viscosity grade of motor oil, Dave. One uses 30 weight only in the summer, 'cause it's like syrup when cool
Ken: dave: an engine lubricant, used in dwarf as pancake topper instead of maple syrup
Dexter Fong: he's twice as unproductive
C. Simril: the firesign have been doing riffs on fighting for sources of energy since before they were the firesign theatre
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 11 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
klokwkdog: modern lubes are things like 10W-30, which act like 10 weight when cool, but thicken up in hot engines to 30 weight
Dave: you guys are great, you know it all, I'm just an idiot at this stuff, and my dad is a geologist, you'd think I'd know that
Dexter Fong: Cat: And after they formed, they continued to fight for sources of energy...
nurse judy: I'll call
EricTravis: Use geothermal. Put a capturing device over Ari Fliescher's hot air.
Dexter Fong: KCCP, KPFK< etc...
C. Simril: notice the title of their first album
Ken: lol, eric!
klokwkdog: ask him to get you a copy of Annals of the Former World and you will understand all...or at least enough
Ken: dave: even geologists don't get straight 30 weight from the ground
Ken: you need the magic of modern chemistry
klokwkdog: no, you have to boil the dinosaurs first...if you burn them, you get coal
C. Simril: the firesign is an education in itself. you can never stop learning new stuff they were reffering to even after you've been familiar with it since the beginning
EricTravis: Can't get straight when you've got 30 weight. Hey, I can rap!
C. Simril: good book, klok
Dave: brb for a minute
||||||||| "I'm going to The Auditorium" says Dave, and leaves.
||||||||| Dave climbs in through the window at the ungodly hour of 11:03 PM
Dave: ok that wasn't supposed to happen
Ken: don't rap too hard, you'll make the record skip
klokwkdog: oh, it's mostly about geology, but there is some oil in it (not enough to cook burgers with, though)
EricTravis: Anyone picked up a copy of All Things Firesign yet?
nurse judy: you can lead a bush to oil but you can't make it burn
EricTravis: Just wondered about the xtra tracks.
C. Simril: not yet
Dave: brb, without trying the I'm Away thing now
klokwkdog: they are called "freedom tracks" now
C. Simril: i'm looking forward to getting Roller Maidens on CD
nurse judy: I still have the new FT CD
C. Simril: still?
klokwkdog would just like the Roller Maidens to knock on the front door...
Ken: cat: you get them maidens on cd and they need tiny little skates. plus, they get dizzy running round in tight circles
klokwkdog: it should be spinning, NJ
EricTravis: And at picnics we should call them Freedom Flys.
klokwkdog: dizzy maidens....ummmm
nurse judy: sitting in front of me
C. Simril: my album is warped. i havent heart it properly in years
Ken: klok: almost makes me drool thinking of it :)
klokwkdog: sitting maidens, standing maidens, kwd not preticular
Ken: cat: my BRAIN is warped. i never listen to myself now
EricTravis: Warp 7 Bob, on to the past...
nurse judy: 12 maids a milking
klokwkdog: they are made maids?
C. Simril: they may not know what milk is, but they sure know where it comes from
Dave: back
Ken: hey, larry. you didn't tell us if you know about the firesign or just came here to observe insanity in action
EricTravis: How Time Flys when you're watching Rebus
C. Simril: my copy of How Time is still intact
klokwkdog: i turned off my sidetone, can't listen to myself anymore. but the voices keep coming...
EricTravis: Not Insane (or anything you want to)!
EricTravis: Suit yourself...
Ken: i'm waiting for "tv or not tv/channel 85" on cd. it's one of my all time favs
nurse judy: The flys have returned
klokwkdog: at the Gentleman's Wearhouse...
klokwkdog: TVs accessing Channel 85 are now illegal
EricTravis: Isn't that in Nevada?
Ken: brb ggp
C. Simril: the declining fall of the raging umpire is a continuation of some riffs from Tile it Like it Is
EricTravis: Oh, _wearhouse_
klokwkdog: is that the American remake of Raging Bull in English?
klokwkdog: "Oh wear-house is a dreadful place, it's a place that's nev-er seen..."
EricTravis: Going to get some burghers and a side of flys to watch raging bull.
Ken: decisions, decision. "crossing over with john edward" or "howard stern"?
nurse judy: freedom flys
C. Simril: tyranny spiders
EricTravis: Crossing Howard Stern. Now there's a new CBS drama in the making
Dexter Fong: All
klokwkdog: say what?! All the burghers are marching up the hill to the Castle with pitchforks and torches. You can't turn them back now!
Dexter Fong: Turn them over, not back
C. Simril: to free K?
EricTravis: A torch singer. Mel Gourmet.
nurse judy: switchblade pitchforks
Ken: throw some mustard on them and have a roast
Dexter Fong: "The Velvet Freedom
klokwkdog: BTW, Cat, others, interesting article on Reality Search Engines #102 at The Register today: http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/30087.html
klokwkdog: K's not here, Cat. He gave at the office ;-)
EricTravis: Freeedom? I pleg a leegan...
Dexter Fong: Klok: Are they still searching for reality, those guys?
klokwkdog: they have found seven so far, Dex
Ken: i'm never here, even when i am
EricTravis: Reality. What a concept.
klokwkdog: Tucson, Las Vegas...
nurse judy: I yam a yam
Dexter Fong: Klok: A couple more and we can fold them up and start our own universe
Ken: i've been from tuscon to tucumcari.....
klokwkdog: It's made fresh daily, Eric, and cheaper than Krispy Kreme
EricTravis: Yum, yum.
klokwkdog: it's Mr. Undertree
Dexter Fong: Two cum cari more than one, Ken
Dave: brb again
nurse judy: they may be krispy but they can't spell
Ken: eric: if you're spanish, reverse it and get "muy, muy"
EricTravis: Groan df
klokwkdog: sounds supiciously like pharmaceuticals to me, folks
klokwkdog: suspiciously
Ken: tucumcari is actually a beautiful place. desert all around, it rises alone in the flatness, can be seen for 50 miles or more
EricTravis: You must be the True White Brother! Sure, you must be the Indiots!
Dexter Fong: It is *mighty* suspicious, Sheriff
klokwkdog: what about the seven cities of indiots?
Ken: that's omar sharif to you!
C. Simril: interesting, klok
Dexter Fong: Klok: The idiots think we're on their side
klokwkdog: You're right, Dex -- too suspicious
C. Simril: i just know it from that Little Feat song
nurse judy: i had a gold indiot onct
Ken: give me weeds, whites, and wine.....
klokwkdog: depends on how many dimensions we have, Dex; then we can count sides
Dexter Fong: ...adn a little Indigo indiot
EricTravis: How sweet, to be an indiot. And fill my heart with joy...
klokwkdog: right now, we can't even find that traveling salesman
C. Simril: sounds like latest Red Meat comic
Dexter Fong: Klok: And play God
klokwkdog: he went off into the fog with Arthur Miller and Marilyn and hasn't been seen since
Ken: out of the smog, into the fog.....
nurse judy: what about the other white meat?
Dexter Fong: John the Baptiste, coming to your door or swimming pool soon
EricTravis: Out of the frog, into the smug...
Ken: pork 'em if you got 'em
klokwkdog: "...some people say there's a donkey to blame...but you know..."
C. Simril: like the idiots changing country in Dear Friends
EricTravis: Y-2-K
klokwkdog: actually, didja know in Olde English, he was "John the fully wetter"?
Dexter Fong: Cat: Yeah! Dat's dem, dose idiots
Ken: well, dear friends, it's after 11 here in the east, i'm outta here. next week, same firetime, same fire station, same firesign
Dexter Fong: Klok: Depends which version of the scripture you read
EricTravis: Are you one of us? How do you really know?
klokwkdog: night Ken, I'm rite behind you
Dexter Fong: Night Ken
C. Simril: by ken
||||||||| With a theatrical clearing of his throat, Catherwood pipes up: "11:22 PM and late as usual, it's Lili Lamont, just back from Billville."
Dexter Fong: Eric: I have video tape
Merlyn: nite ken
Ken: and i'm wrong in front of you :)
EricTravis: Been fun folks. Next time.
C. Simril: klok
Ken: hi lili, bye lili
C. Simril: hi lili
||||||||| "Hey Ken!" ... Ken turns, and sees Bradshaw approching with the handcuffs, and is dragged away, screaming "it's only 11:22 PM, I don't have to go yet!"...
Dexter Fong: Night Eric and klok
Dexter Fong: Hi Lili
Lili Lamont: Again, evryone is leaving? Damn!
C. Simril: you looked great on the back cover of Red Shift
nurse judy: not yet
klokwkdog: Begone thee and thy Tyndale Bible, Dex! I subscribe only to the Word of God via John Wycliffe!!
Lili Lamont: Thanks, Cat. Doc is a good photographer.
Dexter Fong: Klok: Tony Alamo is my man
klokwkdog: well, yeah, if you rent enough cars from him...
klokwkdog: hi lili, bye lili
||||||||| At 11:24 PM, klokwkdog vanishes mysteriously -- just as Nino the Mind Boggler predicted!
C. Simril: the earth has never been in better hands
Dexter Fong: Rent this lovely Honda sedan and you can save and be saved
Lili Lamont: Have I missed anything unusual? I would say interesting, but that would imply that it usually isn't, which is far from the truth.
Dexter Fong: Huh?
nurse judy: Austin made another non appearance
||||||||| With a theatrical clearing of his throat, Catherwood pipes up: "11:24 PM and late as usual, it's doctec, just back from Billville."
C. Simril: he may still appear yet, nurse
Dexter Fong: Doc again
Lili Lamont: Dex: is there a religious ad campaign we should know about?
C. Simril: maybe he's watching the lakers-dallas game, as i'm trying to
doctec: is, uh, anyone still here?
C. Simril: hey doc
nurse judy: we've got doc
Lili Lamont: What am I, chopped liver? I just bought you dinner!
doctec: Light your faith, ... and you can light the world.
doctec: Set fire to the church of your choice
Dexter Fong: Lili: No but on Fox last night, Live from Kuwait with geraldo Rivera, "The Lost Treasure of Al-Quapon
doctec: dex: lol
nurse judy: smoke 'em out
doctec: so what'd they find - an old shoe?
Lili Lamont: Or fire from the mosque of your choice, Hell, the elite guard does.
nurse judy: no geraldo in Saddam's vaults?
Lili Lamont: And for that we should be grateful.
Dexter Fong: Doc: St. Valentines Massacre Chemical Suits
doctec: with the look of real naugahyde?
nurse judy: where the elit meet to beat
Lili Lamont: Good Lord! They're suing now? We're fucked! They've got lawyers!
Dexter Fong: Tonight : Geraldo In Saddams Shorts
Dexter Fong: Lili: Who's suing whom?
doctec: yes, it's true - the lovely lili lamont bought me dinner tonight
Lili Lamont: Dex: Sounds like South Park with Satan and Saddam.
doctec: a fine time was had by all
C. Simril: what did you eat?
nurse judy: i'll go back to the stooges shorts
Lili Lamont: Des: You mentioned suits.
doctec: hey, lemme put images of the red shift cd packaging up on seemreal.com - y'all can see lili about to pocket planet earth at the local pool hall
C. Simril: had some great tapas last night. must turn you on to this place, always wins best tapas bar in vancouver contest
doctec: i'll get on that right now
Dexter Fong: liked the shot stooge with short fuse
nurse judy: you ate their shorts
Lili Lamont: Dex, I mean. I can't type tonight. Sorry.
Dexter Fong: Yes Lili?
||||||||| It's 11:30 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| EricTravis - dead from measles
||||||||| Larry Martin - dead from dengue fever
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
nurse judy: I'll take 2 larry's, one shemp and raise you moe
C. Simril: by eric, larry
Lili Lamont: I was just explaining my interpretation of suits. I think of lawsuits.
Dexter Fong: Sold to the Lady in White!!
Lili Lamont: So, Phil bagged out tonight? What a pity.
nurse judy: I'm wearing a red shift
Dave: Blank
Lili Lamont: Blankman?
Dexter Fong: Lili: Slow here. Yes, I'm from Niagara Falls Love canal- know about them =)
nurse judy: who sold phil the bag
Dexter Fong: NJ: Ken often wears a Blue Bathrobe....with his initials on the poclet
Lili Lamont: Niagara Falls... Slowly I turned...
Dexter Fong: ...and it was all a dream
Dexter Fong: ....I was in this barrel.....
Lili Lamont: Hey, be glad you aren't in Toronto. Apparently, SARS has hit there.
Dexter Fong: ....water all around....
nurse judy: not a susquahana hat?
C. Simril: here too, but toronto has been particularly hard hit
Dexter Fong: ....and tourists.....all of them going to the Canadian side...
Lili Lamont: Water, water, everywhere, and not a drop to drink.
Dexter Fong: Thanks Cap'n
Lili Lamont: Really, Cat? Any deaths?
C. Simril: one i think. it's the top of the news every day
nurse judy: Fluegal Street? My father died on Fleugal street. He was hit by a truck from the Susquahanna hat Co.
Dexter Fong: He's in heaven now son
Lili Lamont: When your number's up... it can get strange.
Dexter Fong: Lili: Ya think?=0
nurse judy: That's not a Susquahanna hat you're wearing is it?
C. Simril: at least we get a break from the war news
Dexter Fong: No, It's a Mr. Yamamoto of Hollywood design
C. Simril: there's a firesign line, i think from LIfe in the Day, "War President Johnson"
nurse judy: It's a good thing. I used to work at the susquahanna Hat Co.
Dexter Fong: NJ: It's called the "OI"
C. Simril: pat hat?
nurse judy: Until they fired me, right before the baby was born.
C. Simril: sounds like a great place not to work
Lili Lamont: Cat: Count your blessings. I listen to NPR and even though they aren't the White House propoganda network like Fox, they are obliged to air live news conferences with Bush, Rumsfeld, and the rest of the viper's nest in Washington. It's enough to make you gag.
Dexter Fong: Tonight: Nurse Judy as Stella Dallas
Lili Lamont: propaganda.
nurse judy: He choked to death on straw from a Susquahanna hat.
C. Simril: i just listen to harry shearer. and firesign, whenever they're on
doctec: OK, Red Shift CD Artwork is up at http://www.seemreal.com/redshift/
Dexter Fong: NJ: Thought he choked t'death on a piece o cheese
Lili Lamont: Harry is brilliant. It's almost like an audio version of the Daily Show, from the news perspective. Only more cynical, which I love.
nurse judy: We called an ambulance but they couldn't get up Fluegal street because they were loading a truck from the susquahanna hat Co. The same truck that killed my old man.
C. Simril: great work, as always, doc
nurse judy: I found out the name of the driver and search for him high and low.
Dexter Fong: They should have blown their Fluegal horn, NJ
C. Simril: and harry has that amazing, elastic voice. like rich little, if rich were Funny
doctec: Cat: my energy level still low since getting this bronchial flu bug, but this weekend I will be burning a bunch of CDs for you
nurse judy: ZI almost caught up with him in funkstown.
C. Simril: i'm not in good health myself, doc
nurse judy: I nearly caught up with him in syracuse.
Dexter Fong: Groovy
Dexter Fong: rome oswego tri-color area
nurse judy: Finally, I found him. In Niagra Falls...
doctec: tri-cycle area
Dexter Fong: ...just going over the edge
doctec: slowly i turned...
nurse judy: you take it from here....
Dave: inch by inch!
Dexter Fong: and put it over there , please
C. Simril: you threw him over in a barrel, nj?
Dexter Fong: Over a barrel Cat
Lili Lamont: Step by step...
Dexter Fong: But the barrel was in the river
Dave: a barrel of bear whiz beer
doctec: and where was the tiver?
Dexter Fong: Hitler tried to take Russia Steppe by Steppe
C. Simril: those are my servants in those barrels!
C. Simril: the vast white dog has just brought me a tennis ball to throw
doctec: look they're waving... no wait, they're giving us the finger...
doctec: tiver me shimbers
Dexter Fong: Thumbs up mizz Yakamoto
Dave: from inside the barrel we hear, "put down that pickle!"
nurse judy: so that's his racket?
doctec: anything like the thin white duke?
Dexter Fong: ...hand me the brown paper bag
Dexter Fong: The Duke of URL?
doctec: the one with the pickle in it?
nurse judy: Is that a Susquahanna paper bag?
Dexter Fong: That's a Ring from a telemarketer
Dave: is nothing but a two-bit ring from a crackerback jox!
nurse judy: don't get me started....
Dexter Fong removes ignition key
Dexter Fong: Inserts 16 inch Phillips screwdriver
Dave: screw that
C. Simril: ok folks, not feeling well. will retire very very early tonight
nurse judy: I once had a pickle in a paper bag. Come to think of it, it was a Susquahanna paper bag.
C. Simril: see some of you next week. thanks for the art work up on the site, doc
Dexter Fong: Re-wires stereo system and Burns out into the setting sun
Dave: bye CAt
doctec: take care cat, no prob re artwork (it was on my to-do list)
Dexter Fong: Night Cat
doctec: take care of yourself
Merlyn: nite cat
nurse judy: bye cat
doctec: the cat is dogged by ill health
doctec: i know the feeling!
Dave: "I've got a feeling..."
doctec: ...and since the extra-strength cough syrup is starting to kick in, i'm gonna have to call it a night as well
nurse judy: a feeling inside?
nurse judy: DMA
Dave: later Doc
doctec: nite dave, dex, cat, brian, judy ... and of course the lovely and vivacious lili lamont
nurse judy: bye doc
doctec: nytol (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz................
||||||||| doctec rushes off, saying "11:52 PM? Mark Time is almost on! Where's a radio?"
nurse judy: lili, you're ours now
Dave: yahahahahahahahaha
Lili Lamont: Yes, I am. I had to do something so I missed Doc's farewell.
Lili Lamont: Dave: That sounds ominous.
nurse judy: it was grand
Lili Lamont: Doc always has the grande finale.
nurse judy: it's his nature
nurse judy: that needs mothering
Lili Lamont: And that's why we get along so well. We are mutually grandiose.
Lili Lamont: NJ, you are so right. Sometimes he needs mothering.
nurse judy: And so now to what?
nurse judy: The hour is nye and the garbage need's a haulin'...
Dave: "as the sun pulls away from the shore, and our boat sinks slowly in the west..."
nurse judy: they only pick up the garbage once a week here on Fluegal St.
nurse judy: our wacky wakkiians...
Dave: UL UL!
Lili Lamont: They only do that once a week here, and are they in for a shock on Monday morning.
nurse judy: Now that they've torn down the old susquahanna hat Co building.
Lili Lamont: Now that I've torn down most of my second floor. Or at least I hired professionals to do it.
nurse judy: spelled backwards is..
||||||||| It's 12:00 AM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| C. Simril - dead from pneumonia
||||||||| Dexter Fong - dead from jaundice
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
nurse judy: is doc a second floor man?
Merlyn: i see dead people
Dave: LU LU!
Lili Lamont: No, he comes in through the first floor, and then we head upstairs.
||||||||| Catherwood walks in wearing his pyjamas, yawns, and mumbles "It's midnight here in New York city"...then he falls over and starts snoring loudly..
Lili Lamont: I see dumb people.
nurse judy: if you look at it it's a barn if you smell it, it's a stable.
Lili Lamont: Hey, I've got to go, too. It's been delightful and weird. What a great combo.
Dave: I don't see any people, where are they?
Dave: "look out for me"
Lili Lamont: You can count on that.
Lili Lamont: Good night, all.
nurse judy: I must now non appear as well
Dave: night Lilllllllllllllli
Merlyn: goodnight
Lili Lamont: Bon soir, Dave, NJ.
Dave: they're flying like drops
Lili Lamont: And the rest of you jfine folks.
Dave: bye NJ
nurse judy: toot sweet
Lili Lamont: fine. now my typing is really sucking. Good night.
||||||||| nurse judy departs at 12:04 AM, singing "Toad away, toad away; toad away, toad away! Where do you go when you're toad away?"
Merlyn: still there dave?
Dave: Dave's not here
Merlyn: wrong group
Merlyn: no, i'm dave
Dave: since people seem to be going, guess I will too
Merlyn: I think lili is gone too
Merlyn: yeah, me too
||||||||| Merlyn rushes off, saying "12:06 AM? Mark Time is almost on! Where's a radio?"
Dave: I hope peopl read this seriously, my song lyric for the week, "so forget this cruel world, where I belong, I'll just sit and wait, and sing my song, and if one day you should see me in the crowd, lend a hand and lift me, to your place in the cloud" Nick Drake
||||||||| "Hey Dave!" ... Dave turns, and sees Bradshaw approching with the handcuffs, and is dragged away, screaming "it's only 12:08 AM, I don't have to go yet!"...
||||||||| It's 12:10 AM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| Lili Lamont - dead from jaundice
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| Gusts of wind blow in from outside and the thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of helicopter blades is heard as Happy Panditt's chopper lands on the lawn and llanwydd disembarks at 12:21 AM.
||||||||| It's 12:30 AM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| llanwydd - dead from jaundice
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| Catherwood enters, and announces to all and sundry "It's 4:32 AM, time to change the log file and clean out unused rooms; please log off for a minute or two. Thank you for your patience."

The Evening's Participants:

Bunnyboy
C. Simril
Dave
Dexter Dong
Dexter Fong
doctec
Elayne
EricTravis
Ken
klokwkdog
Larry Martin
Lili Lamont
marc the shark
Merlyn
nurse judy
Regular Boinkland

URL References:
http://discover.npr.org/rundowns/rundown.jhtml?prgId=2&prgDate=April/1/2003
http://elayneriggs.blogspot.com
http://issuesandalibis.org
http://www.alternet.org/story.html?StoryID=14097
http://www.bushbacklash.com/page_01.html
http://www.commondreams.org/views02/0912-09.htm
www.kino.com
http://www.seemreal.com/redshift/
http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/30087.html
http://www.washingtonlife.com/backissues/01apr/strauss.htm
http://www.webguild.com/sentinel/heartland.htm

Rogue's Gallery:

PP and Cat(cease)	Bunnyboy	klokwkdog	kend^
FreqMan	Merlyn LeRoy	DocTech	LiliLamont
Rotonoto	LeatherG & SO	Nin0	Tonk
			Elayne
And, "The Home Team"	Peggy Blisswhips	Audrey Farber	Tiny Dr. Tim Rest In Peace, Dear Friend